After a weekend of window shopping, the zoo and eating out, it was time for me to face reality. I'd done a great job of distracting myself from what was coming, but Sunday night all I could think about was how different Ellie was going to look the next day.
It's funny, when we got the diagnosis at her 20 week morphology scan I was so nervous about how I would feel when she was born. I stupidly wondered if I would be able to bond with her, just because she was going to look a little bit different. I'm so ashamed of that now. Because as soon as I saw her I knew that sje was perfect. Now all of a sudden we were going to change her, and yet again I faced those same fears.
We spent three months falling in love with her big wide smile. I knew I was going to miss it, and I tried to take as many ladt minute photos as I could, so we could remember just how cute she looked with her ear to ear grin.
After her night feed I held her in my arms for just that little bit longer than normal. Tomorrow was going to be a long, hard day, and I just wanted to saviour our last peaceful moment.
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