29/12/13 - Reflection

12 months ago I was 37 weeks pregnant and terrified of what would happen after my baby girl arrived. The shine was taken off my pregnancy after her diagnosis, and I was constantly worrying about what she would go through and if I was really prepared to handle a cleftie.

As it turns out, the cleft was the least of my problems right from the start. I started this blog firstly as a way to deal with the emotions that I was flooded with after Ellie's birth, but I then intended it to be a journal of her cleft journey. I can honestly say I never expected the biggest of Ellie's problems to have nothing to do with her cleft. 

In comparison to some of the things we've been through this year - her haemorrhage, the reflux, lung disease - the cleft seems insignificant. I still worry about all the same things as I did before Ellie was born, especially the things in her future like being picked on by her peers, but they are in a big bin of worries, surrounded by non-cleft problems. 

Ellie has taught me so much about myself In the last 12 months. And I know she will continue to teach me for the rest of her life.