08/11/13 - Nerves

Let me start by saying, I'm not some crazy hippy parent who wants to let nature take it's course. I know that Ellie needs these surgeries to have a full life, free of bullying and struggles. It's just that sometimes, I just really wish we didn't have to put her through this.

Sitting in front of me is a healthy, happy 10 month old baby girl. She has managed to adapt in so many ways for he challenges that she faces. She can talk! She can eat! She can drink! All while missing a huge part of her mouth! Incredible! 

So, why are we putting her through all of this pain? Why are we taking our beautiful, healthy girl and intentionally making her sick? It goes against every single mummy instinct there is. We should be protecting her from pain, not forcing it on her.

Yes, it's nerves about the upcoming surgery. Yes, I know she needs the repair. Yes,t he sooner it's done the sooner she can do the things other babies Hera be are doing. Yes, it's better to do it now when she won't remember. Doesn't mean I don't feel crappy about it though.