5.45am:
After a long, sleepless night I give up, I can't sleep. I need coffee, STAT.
It's time to wake Ellie up for her last bottle. She needs to have it finished by 7am, and then she can only have water up to 11am. This part, the fasting, is what scares me the most after her messed-up first attempt at surgery in April. I don't want her screaming for food for another 10 hours.
7.00am:
Just like last time, Ellie decided to spew most of her feed back up. Funny how her reflux has been under control until the very moment she needs to keep a bottle down! She still has a slight cough, but nothing too worrying. I have a feeling this will all go to plan this time. She's grizzly. Does she know what's about to happen?
8.00am:
Trying to distract Ellie while Sophie has her breakfast. Not an easy task. She wants her toast, and she wants it now. Still feeling calm. What's wrong with me? Bec and Ash arrive to keep us company.
8.30am:
Mad rush to the supermarket to see if I can find Velcro. It appears miss Ellie has grown too big for her arm splints and they won't do up! Luckily I find some in the pet food isle (really??), and Drew stitches two pieces to each splint, extending them a good 10cm. Now they'll fit!
9.30am:
I've had enough of Ellie's grizzling, I think it's bed time. At least this way she will sleep through most of the fasting. When she wakes up it will be almost time to go to the hospital. Mum, Mel and Nan arrive too.
11.30am:
Ellie is awake. Time to gather our stuff and head off to the hospital. It's getting real now. In a couple of hours our baby girl will be taken in to surgery. But strangely I still feel a whole lot calmer than I did last time. Ellie is doing really well with the fasting, maybe that's the key.
12.00pm:
The admissions nurse takes us through to answer all the usual questions. Weight, allergies, medical history. What is she having done? I forget about the grommets for a second. They hardly seem important compared to the palate repair, but yes, she's having grommets inserted too. We talked about the coughing and the fact that Doctor Naiker had checked her chest and thought she was ok. She applied some numbing cream to both hands ready for the anaesthetist, who arrived a few minutes later. Same questions, same answers, except that she was much more concerned about the cough. She took a listen to Ellie's chest and agreed that she sounded fine, and decided that the surgery could go ahead, although they would need to keep a close eye on her. She also wanted to take Ellie through straight away to give her some ventolin on a nebuliser and help open her lungs up before they start the anaesthetic. So we say good bye to everyone and take her in to the waiting bay.
12.30pm:
Ellie has fought the nebuliser but got some of it in. She isn't a fan of the mask. Doctor Kimble comes in to have a chat, as well as the anaesthetist. The surgery will take at least three hours. They will get her under, then an ENT will insert the grommets and then it's Doctor Kimble's turn. This is really going to happen now. They will take her in soon, they're just waiting for an operating room to open up. Ellie is being so good. She doesn't want anyone to hold her but me, I think she knows something is up.
1.15pm:
A nurse arrives to take Ellie and Drew through to theatre. Drew is going to hold her while they put her to sleep. I can't do it, I know I will get upset and cry my eyes out, which will only upset her more. He comes back out a few minutes later and that's it. She's under anaesthetic and now we wait for Doctor Kimble to call us in about three hours time.
1.30pm:
We all head over to the mall to get some lunch and try and wait patiently for the phone call. I can't eat because my stomach is churning. I know she's in good hands but I won't believe she's OK until I can see her again.
1.50pm:
My phone rings while we're in Target, it's a private number. I answer, and hear Doctor Kimble's voice. "Hello Tracey, there's been a bit of a problem, Ellie is having trouble breathing." My whole world crumbles around me.
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