As usual I woke early on Friday morning. Ellie's ambulance was leaving at 9am, and we wanted to make sure we'd had a chance to feed her and meet her transport team before she left. We also had to pack the last of our things and strip all of our bedding before we could leave.
We got to the hospital just as the transport team were arriving. The nurse that was travelling with her, Taz, said to give her a quick feed and get her nice and sleepy and then they would head off. She raced around gathering all the paperwork and extra nappies and wipes, and before I knew it we were saying goodbye again.
We gave Ellie a big kiss, and collected all of her clothes, teddies and her record book. The book was given to us when we arrived at the NICU and we'd been writing in it each day and sticking pictures with each entry. It is a fantastic momento of her journey, and I'm planning to use it for each of her surgeries as well.
We went to the car park and paid our massive parking bill - $82, which would have been over $200 if we didn't talk to the social worker and get a letter to say we needed a discount. Then it was back to Ronald Mcdonald to pick up the last of our things and say goodbye to the incredible staff.
We were on the road to home. I slept most of the way, the exhustion from the last 11 days had hit me like a wall. Poor Drew must have been bored out of his brain with no one to talk to but himself!
When we arrived at the North West Private Hospital the transport ambulance was just unloading Ellie. It was very strange walking back in to that nursery. I'd been so out of it after she'd been born and I didn't even know where to go to find her. I guess everything looks different when you're under so much stress.
One thing that had been bothering me since it was decided to transport her, was how we'd make it work needing to be at the hospital every three hours. If there was one advantage to being in Hobart it was how close we were to the hospital. Being home meant we would now be 20 minutes away.
I needn't have worried though, the hospital had thought it through. They offered me a private room to stay with Ellie. It was the perfect solution. I would stay in the hospital, and Drew could stay at home with Soph and just come visit when they wanted. Not to mention I would finally have a chance to spend a night with my baby.
While even more paperwork was filled out a nurse showed me to my room. It was really nice, in the private section of the hospital with views out over the ocean. We decided that we'd get Ellie settled in and then leave her with the nurses for a couple of hours while we went home to see Soph and get some clean clothes.
One of the paediatricians came in to check Ellie, and she was happy for the nasal gastric tube to come out. She was taking all of her feeds through the bottle and hadn't needed a tube top up in 48 hours. Ellie got the all clear to go on to the ward, and we took her back to my room.
When I went to make her a bottle I ran in to Doctor Hingston in the hallway. She said how glad she was to have us back, and asked how everything was going. She never mentioned wanting to see me again like she'd said that first morning. I haven't seen her since, so I don't know what it was about. Maybe she just wanted to check in.
Taz had said that Ellie would be a bit off after the trip, and she wasn't wrong. She screamed the whole time I was feeding her, and then spewed it all back up. It made me feel terrible. Hear I was, her mother, and I couldn't even get her feed properly for me. I felt like a complete failure, and I was a little bit scared about spending the night alone with her.
Once she was sleeping again we wheeled her back to the nursery and headed home for the first time in 11 days. We let Bec know we were coming so that she could bring Sophie home too. It was great to walk through the door. Mum had been around and tidied up for us, and even mowed the lawns.
We didn't have a lot of time - I was feeling bad about leaving Ellie with the nurses for too long, especially when I didn't know if they would know how to feed her if she woke up hungry. We unloaded the car, packed some fresh clothes for me and Ellie, and after only an hour and a half we were heading back to the hospital, this time with Sophie as well.
As I walked down the hallway to the maternity ward I could hear a baby screaming. It was Ellie. One of the nurses had tried to feed her, but used a different bottle than what we'd been using because ours was still steralising. She shouldn't have been due for a feed anyway, but thanks to the transport and the powerchuck she had started a series of cluster feeds.
I'm one of these people that needs rules and routines to be able to function. I like a 3 hour feeding schedule, eapecially with Ellie who will fall asleep through a feed because its hard work, not because she's full. So cluster feeding stresses me out. And this was no exception.
Drew left with Sophie at 7.30pm to take her home and settle her in to bed. It was the first night that he'd ever had her alone. So we were both feeling a bit anxious about what the night would bring.
I'd told the nurse that I'd prefer to be left alone to just do what needed to do, and she agreed. They had a very full house so I think she was jusy greatful that I wouldn't be buzzing them every two seconds.
Ellie continued to cluster feed every hour, and finally fell asleep properly at 10pm. I resisted the urge to pick up my book and read for a little while, and just turned off the lights and went to sleep. I wasn't sure how our night would play out and I didn't want to be completely exhusted in the morning.
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