The 1.30am feed had one glorious moment - a soggy, wet nappy. I've never been so happy to change a wet bum in my life. Even if I was changing it with my eyes practially hanging out of their sockets because I was so tired.
Of course, because it wasn't the full three hours since her last feed, Ellie struggled to drink. She managed half of her bottle and that was all I could get her to take before she fell asleep again. I just hoped it was enough to get her through for however long they were going to keep her waiting that time.
We all woke up together at 6am. Ellie was surprisingly calm, only letting out the occasional protest cry, but not screaming like she had the day before. We got dressed and went down for breakfast. Bec and Ash arrived at 7am, and we headed back to the hospital to start again.
I had pretty much convinced myself that it wasn't really going to happen that day either. We'd been told that she was on the emergency list, but of course if there was an emergency come in then she would be bumped. I wasn't happy about putting her through the fasting again for nothing.
Surprisingly though, she was handling it much better. There was no screaming, she just grizzled a bit every now and then. It makes a huge difference waiting around when your baby isn't screaming her lungs out.
Shortly after we arrived we were taken through with the nurse to go back over the paper work. While we were in the the anethisiologist, Simon, came and introduced himself, and asked a few questions of his own. He was very friendly, and guarenteed us that we would be going in, there was just one surgery they had to clear out first.
After another little wait, Doctor Kimble arrived. He was very apologetic about the cancellation, and within seconds I was over my anger towards him, and he was back in my good books. He explained what he was going to do, and that he would call us as soon as he was finished.
Half an hour later we were still waiting, but Simon made a point of coming to find us and keep us updated. He said he'd tried to get another operating theatre opened, but there wasn't enough staff. It was really good to know that everyone was trying their best to make sure Ellie got in without too much delay.
Meanwhile, she was still being all bright and bubbly. She had a couple of little naps, but mostly was happy to be held and rocked. Sophie was more annoyed about waiting around for the second day than her sister was.
At about 10am we were taken through to the surgical waiting bay. Bec and Ash said goodbye to Ellie, and Sophie gave her a big kiss. Inside we spoke with Doctor Kimble again, and before long a nurse was taking her down to theatre. I did so well: no tears!
I mightn't have cried, but watching him walk away with my baby, and knowing that she would be so different when she came back, made me feel sick. I wanted to chase him down that corridor and resuce her from the pain we were about to put her through.
Doctor Kimble had told us the surgery would take two or three hours, and we didn't want to spend that time sitting around the hospital because it would have just seemed longer. So we left and headed across to the mall to do a bit of shopping and grab some lunch.
While we were in Target my phone rang, and I nearly had a heart attack. My hand was shaking as I answered the private number. She had only been in for half an hour, I didn't know what could have gone wrong in that time. It was only Big W ringing about my layby!
After some shopping Sophie and Drew were hungry so we stopped for an early lunch. I felt too sick to eat, but I managed a bite of Sophie's hot dog. I remember sitting there wondering how all these people around us could be going about their business so happily when everything was so scary for us.
To add to our worries, mum was back home having her gallbladder removed. We called dad and found out that she'd been taken to surgery around the same time as Ellie, so we had two seperate lots of worry going on at once.
At around 12pm my phone rang again. I panicked all over again, thinking it was too early for her to be out of surgery. But it was Doctor Kimble, ringing to let us know that he was finished. He said everything went well, better than expected actually. He didn't need to put shunts in her nose to keep her nostrils open and the procedure had been textbook perfect. They were taking her back to recovery, and we could see her in about half an hour when she woke up.
While we were heading back to the hospital dad called again, and said mum was out and also in recovery. We were a very happy group. We all had big smiles on our faces and anyone that saw us would have thought we were on a holiday or something.
The half an hour wait to go in to recovery felt longer than the two hours that she was in surgery. I kept looking at the clock and as time ticked away I was starting to wonder if there was a problem. But just before 1pm my phone rang again and we were told one person could go in. I let Drew go first. I wanted him to be able to warn me if there was a lot of blood or anything like that.
Drew came out after about 20 minutes and said she looked great. I headed in for my first glance. I was nervous. I didn't know what to expect, it was almost like meeting her for the first time all over again. I rushed down the corridor in the direction the nuse sent me, and paused in the recovery room doorway.
Laying there, on a little cot with tubes everywhere, was my little girl. My attention was instantly drawn to her mouth. She looked completely dufferent, she didn't look like our Ellie.
It's incredibly hard to describe what it's like to see your child after such an obvious corrective surgery. I'd tried to find post-op images of a bilateral repair but I hadn't found any to give me an idea of what to expect. It's not that I didn't like how she looked, it was just so very, very different to what we'd said goodbye to just a few hours before.
I stood there for a while, talking to the recovery nurse and holding Ellie's tiny hand. She was still unconscious, but was whimpering and starting to move around a little bit. The nurse explained that they would be monitoring her breathing with an apnoea monitor, and she had a drip in her foot for fluids until she could drink.
A little while later she was allowed to be transfered to the paediatric ward. She was going in to the nursery because she needed constant nursing presence for the first 24 hours while she was on the apnoea monitor.
A nurse and an orderly wheeled her out of recovery and we found Drew, Soph, Bec and Ash in the hallway. We all followed behind and headed to paediatrics. Soph looked scared and upset seeing her sister on the bed. She kept saying "I needa see my Nellenore" and "I want hold my Nellenore."
On the ward I waited in the parent's room while everyone else visited Ellie. We took it in turns to be in there with her because only two people were allowed at a time. The reality of it all hadn't really sunk in for me, I kept having to remind myself what was going on.
Ellie woke up at 5.30pm and we attempted our first syringe feed. I've had to feed her like that a few times in the past, but it was still terrifying. It was very awkward trying to hold her comfortably with all of her cords and her arms splinted, and I was scared of hurting her mouth. As it was I managed to drop the syringe on her lip and poke her a few times, and I felt horrible about it. She managed about 30mls, and then she went to sleep.
Because I'd had such a bad night the night before, and it had been such a long day, I aranged with the nurse that I would go back to Ronald McDonald House that night. I was planning to room in with her after that but I needed one full night's sleep before sleeping at the hospital. I know from experience with Sophie that there's never much sleep to be had on a paediatrics ward, and Hobart was a lot busier than ours back home.
We left after Ellie was asleep, and the night nurse assured us she would call if Ellie needed us. It had been such a long, emotional day. I felt like I'd run a marathon, I was exhusted, and I couldn't wait to get Sophie in bed so that we could colapse ourselves.
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